Filters of perception make things so complicated.
When we are children, our number one wish is to be loved. People with nurturing families grow eventually to love themselves.
This wanting to be loved creates so many problems. First, this wanting to be loved is not really love at all. It's the search for validation, for the fulfillment of the ego need.
We should not be in love with ourselves to the point of narcisism, but we should be confident that we matter in this world. Everyone has their own strengths, everyone has different strengths. Its up to the individual to recognize their strengths and take pride in these strengths. Pride, not arrogance.
Arrogance is merely a defense mechanism.
We can't be good at everything. For example: She doesn't have his technique, but he can't have her tone. I.e. He is a lousy soloist, but a good orchestra player. We can never be good at everything, but we do have our special abilities.
Its difficult to grow to your potential when your driving factor is the desire to be loved. First, in order to please others, you must morph into this doll that is agreeable to people. You are not becoming yourself. You are becoming this pleasing machine. You are not necessarily searching for your own truth and identity, you are echoing your surroundings. Adjusting your outward appearance and not focusing on giving what is inside of you. Wow I just described that Ophelia syndrome thing!
Wanting to be loved leads to jealousy, too.
You can't love others if you don't love yourself. Not truly love others. You'll forever be wanting to be loved, but you won't be able to do your own share. First, people inevitably share facets that aren't so pretty. If you hate that facet about yourself, then there is no way you can like it in others. Then, its hard to be loyal to people if you want to always be loved. Its necessary to forsake others to love. I always wondered why that was part of the marriage vows thing...answered my own question! Just like, if your with one person, you can't go around and have sex with other people. There's so much more to a relationship than that physical stuff. That means that there is more than one way to cheat in a relationship. There are ways to emotionally cheat.
Plus, when you wnat to be loved by everyone, you're also compromising everyone. People will be left wondering, oh so I'm not enough?
It also creates communication barriers. When one can't love themselves, they lack confidence. You can't form intimate relationships without confidence because it takes confidence to be able to trust. When one can't love themselves, they will feel a sense of worthlessness. I.E. There's no way he can love me because he's so much more beautiful and talented, etc. When one can't love themselves, they have to be self conscious because they want their image to be lovable. It creates unecessary anxiety!
Totally unrelated. It's funny how the mind works to block things we don't want to see in ourselves. Maybe it is related. Its even funnier when the same person tries to project that facet on you and then questions you about it. Its annoying.
The solution is to try to love in a more perfect way. To focus on giving, not taking. We must discover for ourselves what it is that we have to give.
There's more but I have yet to start my homework.
Another thing:
"The truth is not in the words we speak. It is not in the actions that we present before others. The truth is in our hearts and in no way can it ever be fully explained"
Soo don't ever try to insist to someone that you know them better than they know themselves. Its freakin annoying. Go analyze yourself, leave me alone. | 
